Subject 49: Riva, 30
You’re one of those people who can just eat whatever they want, aren’t you? Nobody uses Surfer and Hamburger. Nobody picks the Horse as their emoji spirit guide while gnawing a battered Poultry leg. A Fried shrimp and a freakin’ Leopard? Are you mocking me? I’d say more but I’ve gotta go “Face savoring delicious food” on a green juice while I’m really “Loudly crying face” inside. You’re the worst.
Diagnostic emoji: Face with open mouth + All the food emojis
Prescribed emoji: Pile of poo