(By Mose Hayward/Tipsypilgrim).- Catalan statehood is in vogue, which leads many to ask: What makes Catalans so different? But more than anything, it’s Catalans’ glorification of excrement that proves that they are a truly singular people who deserve their own passports — and possibly their own secured borders.
Shit is always on the tip of a Catalan tongue.
- For good luck, Catalans wish you “a lot of shit” (“molta merda!” = break a leg!).
- Worrywarts “shits doubts” all the time (“cagadubtes“).
- You can “shit it up” (“te l’has cagat” = you fucked up).
- If, on the other hand, you do things very quickly you’re “shitting milk” (“cagant llets“).
- If you’re an “underpants-shitter” (“cagacalces“) you’re obviously a coward.
- If you “shit yourself in the salty sea” (“em cago en la mar salada“)1 you’re just generally swearing at your bad fortune.
- To describe an ocher color, use the term merda d’oca — “the color of goose shit“.
- Pets de llop — “wolf farts” are a type of explosive, fecally malodorous mushrooms that I’ve been told litter the Catalan countryside. In my years in Catalonia, I’ve never entered the woods, and now, I never will. Read more here.